Both of my boys have been in bed since 9pm (I let them stay up to watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition). And in a strange turn of events, it was Cooper who immediately fell asleep, and Ben who is still awake. Usually Ben is asleep within minutes, and Cooper battles with me until at least 11pm or until I give in and let him get in my bed. Yes, I know, SuperNanny would have a hay day with me. Tonight though, sweet success, Coop is sound asleep in his own bed! Hallelujah!!
After I prayed with Ben tonight, he asked if he could stay up and read. Those are sweet and glorious word to a mother...........and since it is still summer, what's the harm. So a few minutes ago, I went in to check on him, since it was so quiet in there I expected him to be asleep. Instead I find him sitting up in his bed, headphones plugged into his CD player, with comic books spread all over his bed. He looked like such a big boy! I stood a little out of sight and watched for a few seconds before he saw me and said "Whatcha lookin at?". So we chatted a bit and he filled me in on all the details of "SpiderMan and the Human Torch". After a few minutes I said goodnight again and headed out of his room, which by the way, is starting to get that "smelly boy" odor. As I was walking down the hall, it dawned on me that I am almost the parent of a "tweener". That boy on that top bunk, reading those comic books, listening to that Jump 5 cd, with those head phones on is the same newborn whose crib I stood over 7 1/2 years ago, watching him sleep, crying tears of happiness and fear, not knowing how I could ever love him enough. It seems like a blur when I look back at the time that has past. That newborn learned to sleep through the night and turned into a happy, easy going little baby, and that little baby turned into a fun, whirlwind of a toddler, and that toddler turned into a very talkative, inquisitive preschooler, and that preschooler turned into a bright, rambunctious little boy, and now we are on the eve of the next phase of his life. My prayer for him as we embark on this next stage is that he will continue to grow more in love with Jesus, and discover a relationship with Him that is his own. That he will continue to love others and find ways to care for people the way that Jesus wants him to. That he will see in his dad and I, a model of how to live a life of compassion and caring for other people, the way that Jesus calls us to. That he will continue to be a fun big brother, who finds joy in loving and defending his little brother. That his love of learning will deepen. And that his struggles and trials will be faith building.
That postpartum night 7 1/2 years ago that I stood over his crib weeping God spoke to me. He reminded me that this baby was not actually mine, but rather His child entrusted to Dave and I to "bring up in the training and instruction of the Lord" (Eph. 6:4) and that He would provide me with love enough. And He has.