Friday, January 2, 2009

Dear Supervised PlayRoom Inventor,

Reposted from sometime last spring.......

I love you.

Really.

Do you realize what you have done for me?

You have made it possible for me to drop my child off in a colorful, toy filled room at the front of my favorite super store for one hour of uninterrupted time "one-stop shopping". I know that the big-wigs think that they have made a smart move by offering this service in hopes that I will be more relaxed while shopping and in turn fill my cart with beautiful and lovely things that I don't need. However, I am smarter than those big-wigs and sometimes, after I place my four year old in the loving hands of that employee (who, by the way, knows us by first name and NEVER matches up our security band numbers when I come to claim him), I simply head over to the in-store coffee stand, purchase my overpriced, overly sweetened, overly fattening drink and head to the magazine aisle, where I pick a few of my favorite brain stimulating periodicals like People and US Weekly and then I go sit on the floor sample couches and read for THE ENTIRE HOUR! I certainly never get one hour of uninterrupted periodical perusing time at my house. Except for that one time I locked my self in my bathroom with the fan on and the shower running and sat, fully clothed, on the porcelain throne. Even then the natives were pounding down the door every ten minutes wanting fruit snacks.

Then there is the gym and again I declare you genius. While certainly not free, it is well worth the expense. You see, my children beg to go there. Daily. There I get one and a half hours of child free time. Yes, I know the purpose of this playroom is to entertain my children in order that I may get my tush onto one or more of those sweat inducing machines in the other room. And most of the time I do. However, I must confess that, once in a while, I place my children in the care of those perky high-school girls and I go sit in the whirlpool spa in the ladies locker room. Yes, I am usually the youngest, least wrinkled lady in there. But damn, I look goooooooood in a bathing suit next to those ladies.

Let us not forget the favorite Supervised PlayRoom of all time. This one has a great name. It is called Smal Land, yes with just one 'L' because it is Swedish. And those Swedes love my children and me so much that they too have made it possible for me to wander their mega store for one hour unencumbered by offspring. What they don't realize is that I almost never grab one of their paper tape measures, pencils, or giant yellow shopping bag. Instead I walk through their rat-like maze, straight for their 325 sq. ft. model home. There I seat myself on the lovely, cherry red striped ektorp chair, pull out my cell phone, call my sister Kris and enjoy a peaceful phone conversation for once. Oh, and sometimes I go to their brightly lit cafeteria and buy me some meatballs with gravy and lingonberry sauce. I love not sharing my meatballs.

So to you, Mr (or Miss) Supervise Playroom Inventor, I tip my hat and in the words of Budweiser I call you my "real man of genius".

What you don't realize is that I am the "real mom of genius" and have figured out how to use all three Supervised PlayRooms in one day. Can you say THREE AND A HALF HOURS of alone time without having to pay a single babysitter!

With much admiration of your ingenuity and mine,

The mom

23 comments:

mer@lifeat7000feet said...

I do not know these supervised play areas of which you speak...please tell me which fabulous stores you're referring to!!!

Trish said...

Mer, one is a local store called Fred Meyer (owned by Kroger). It is similiar to a Super Walmart, but way nicer!
The other is IKEA, which just opened last fall about 15 minutes from our house.

Do you not have any stores with Supervised playrooms?

Valerie said...

I have not partaken in the playroom experience at the grocery store though I have at the gym. Sounds wonderful. Ingenious. . .going and NOT shopping. Hmmm. I'm thinking a run to the store in needed.

Gina said...

You made me laugh. At the grocery store, Jesse and Caleb are too old. At Fred Meyer, they are too tall. Ikea is too far away....
Poor me!

Heather said...

You get supervised play areas?? I don't get these. I really want them, but I don't have them. I'm going to be jealous for a minute, but then I'll get over it and be happy for you. Just give me a minute.

meleea said...

i loved those play areas when my kids were small enough to visit them and they loved them too!! way better than being dragged around the store with boring old mom while she shopped!

Julie D. said...

OH my gosh, trish...this is your best post yet!! seriously. awesome!!! I have utilized all three playrooms in which you speak, and realized through your genius post, that I need to make more and better use of them. My gym doesn't have a whirlpool...but many times I sit on the floor and 'pretend' I'm stretching, while I read a magazine and listen to my ipod blasted as loud as I can.

Now cafe sip n play by me, has not figured out that just across the street my girlfriends and I can drop our kids off at Fred Meyer and go have QUIET coffee time with out having to WATCH our kids, like at Cafe Sip n Play. They must have not consulted with the 'supervised' play room inventor.

Thanks for the laugh tonight!! I'll join you sometime on the couch in Ikea!

Julie

Julie D. said...

in fact, i love this post so much I'm going to link it on my blog...i think just because you said how "damn good you look in a bathing suit next to those ladies!!!" I think I need to sign up at your gym!

Julie D. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lee Ann said...

Great post! I remember the lady at FM always asking if Anna could come in. And the day she turned two we did. Now if only Sarah was old enough!

Meagan said...

You are hilarious!

I never took advantage of the playroom at Fred Meyer when we lived in Washington...what was I thinking? Although I would have been the stupid one trying to get as much shopping done as possible without the kids. Don't think I would have been as clever as you!

Lula! said...

Supervised play area? What is this supervised play area you speak of? We do not have this in our rural part of the country.

It will take me a while to regroup after learning of this. Because I've obviously been missing out!

Kelli said...

I loved reading that very long, hilarious post....you are a smart Momma! Hey, school is done...are you guys coming back to group on Tuesday nights??? We miss you! Hugs, Kel

Annette said...

Very fun! my kids were too old when they invented these... hopefully, it won't put your babysitter(s) out of business... ; )!

Debbie said...

Ok, hands down. This is my Favorite post of yours ever. I am laughing so hard following you from a Wegman's type grocery store, to the gym to Ikea...Oh my word, you are a genius!!!

Eryn said...

oh man. I never thought to hit them all in one day! You are a smartie!

It's taking a little practice for my shy boy to get the hang of these, but he's coming around. I'm not getting paged overhead anymore!Now if Jack can just join him...

The Aldridge's said...

OK, the last time I went to IKEA I wish my kids were old enough. There was an "incident" where the cleaning staff had to be called...enough said...it was unpleasant. I will have to attempt the swedish shopping again. And yes, the meatballs are wonderful.

Cheryl

Simply Stork said...

I am a mother of 4 children...some older and one 18month old. whe the older kids were young these supervized play spaces were "the new thing" oh how I loved them...my girlfriends and I...who had younger children, would meet up at the store and take our time shopping...it was wonderful...now I can do this on a daily basis...it's called "a built in babysitter" :o) My older kids rock :o)

~simply~

Jackie said...

I will need these "supervisors" you speak of in the semi-near future. Which planet are they on?

Unknown said...

Amen sister.

It was a sad day here when Essie grew too big for the playroom....

Amy said...

That is sheer genius, Trish! I take advantage of the play area at our Fry's (like Fred Myer) but just to shop with out trying to wrangle my kids. Emily is too young for now - but you can bet your bottom dollar that I will most definitely use this free babysitting to grab a coffee and take a break once she is of age!! Thanks for the tip!

Valerie said...

I finally took advantage of the playroom today. Riley was too old but I made him listen to his iPod so I could sit and talk, uninterrupted with K. Yeah FM.

Debbie said...

Okay...I just read my comment from the first time I read this post...It was your funniest until...the post about Dave and the twin houses. I am still cracking up....