Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Gotta be honest here

I'm still struggling here.

Life here in Dillingham is a little tougher to adjust to than it was in Kotzebue.

I'm trying to sort it all out.

Maybe I shouldn't, but that's just what I do.

I don't think it's just me either.
The boys seem to be struggling too.

We all seem to be struggling with connections or lack thereof.

I thrive on friendship. I love girlfriends.
I have always been blessed with AMAZING girlfriends.
Can't seem to make connections here and not for lack of trying.

I really miss my BFF's.
One is my sister. We chat often, but I still really miss her.
The other is a friend that I was blessed to meet 5 years ago.
Three years ago we really connected.
I miss her so much that every time we talk I cry.
So I've avoided calling her.
That hurts.

Any words of wisdom?


Dawn said...

Trish, I understand your predicament. I also thrive on friendships. I have been in my current place for going on 2 years now and still have yet to make those connections like I had at our last duty station. It's not been easy at all. I just keep praying on it and asking Our Lord to send the right people into my life here. He put me here (and you there) for a reason. I just don't know what it is yet, but I have to trust in Him that He will take care of me. And He'll take care of you too. I'll be praying for you that the reason for your time in Dillingham becomes clear to you.

mer@lifeat7000feet said...

No advice really, but I'm sorry you're struggling. Makes me sad because I'm such a people person that I know it would just about kill me to be lonely like that.

I can say a prayer for you. And I will. More than one or two even. ;)

We have lots of friends here who are military. One think I've repeatedly heard from them is that it takes time to find "those special" friendships. Hang in there, Trish. You'll find your rhythym. And call your friend and your sister. They'll let you cry!

Karyn @ Candarbry Garden said...

Life! Whatcha gonna do? You have a husband who follows the Lord. You have two bright and beautiful young men who are following their daddys lead. You have a family and friends who love you. You have employment opportunities that allow you to work with people. Do you believe that God has made a mistake in where he brought your family? Sorry things are tough. There is something special waiting for you. Love you, Seachelle...

Elena said...

Awwww...I'm so sorry. Is this a permanent move now? All I can say on the matter is that I've lived here for 4 1/2 years...just waiting and WAITING to find a "connection" with a girl friend. It just isn't happening, but....I have found myself. Well a little of myself anyway. I feel the old me slowly coming back and that is a WONDERFUL feeling. Hang in there and remember you have all us "pretend friends" in your computer just waiting to chat.

Kat said...

I so understand. Those connections have been amazing at some points in my life...and fallen off in others. And I so try to make them - sometimes I wonder if it just seems forced. But I tend to fall back to my computer friends - and those connections keep me sane.

Tamara said...

Just reading the comments left above makes me feel like you have such awesome friends in your life - women that hear you, care about you, speak truth to you, keep you grounded, keep you accoutable... you have much to be thankful for. Your lack of "in-person" closeness to a girlfriend is what most experience throughout life - especially when you crave authentic and deep and meaningful relationships not just surface shmoozy stuff. It is hard to find and most of the time in my life, I believe that we don't find those relationships, God brings them. Loneliness is hard though - it is an empty sadness that often renders you hopeless and depressed. It is hard to depend so heavily on your spouse for friendship and children only provide so much in the realm of meaningful and endearing conversation. I do believe that Satan thrives on us feeling sad and lonely and he loves to isolate us and render us useless for His kingdom and sitting in that place of self-pity and aloneness. It is a challenge to battle against those feelings - a challenge to connect your mind and your spirit in steps of faith when you feel empty. I know where your heart is at. It is a hard place to be but I pray that you will find strength in the knowledge that you have women who deeply cherish you and who miss you deeply too. Reach out and savor the fact that you can do so readily in this age of computers and digital photos. Drink in the truth of God's masterplan -- that His plans are for your good - to prosper you - not harm you. And having said all of that... take some Vitamin D - I'm betting that you are in need! Sending you a hug from "back home".

Meredith said...

No advice. Just wanted to say I love you. Sending hugs your way. And praying for you and your family!

Kris said...

I say you and your sister and your friend should run away to a white sandy beach and sip martinis! Just my opinion though.

sdumont said...

I am so sad that you are sad, We miss you so very much and think of you often. God has made you and your family so very special. You are a light to all and you touch so many. We Love you!!!

Mara said...

I'm reading Beth Moore's new book So Long Insecurity, not that I think you are insecure AT ALL, but she's doing a book club through her blog while people read it together...you can get the book through amazon. besides that, please know that you are loved..

Debbie said...

Now I'm really sad for you. And while I don't have any words of advice other than to keep reminding yourself that the Lord planted you there for a reason, do try to continue this "we are on the adventure of a lifetime" attitude. Because someday you will be back in the day to day of the bigger city longing for the simplicity of life in Alaska. God entrusted YOU because HE knew YOU could handle it. And during the times HE knows you can't handle it, HE will equip you. Because HE is supernatural like that. Hang in there sister...and now I really know how to pray for you.